The Difference

Loneliness is a lack, a feeling that something is missing, a pain, a depression, a need, an incompleteness, an absence.

Aloneness is presence, fullness, aliveness, joy of being, overflowing love. You are complete. Nobody is needed, you are enough.

The above phrases are borrowed from another website.

Definition of Alone

It's being without friends. reclusiveness. a disposition to prefer seclusion or isolation.
Alone is colorless unless reinforced by all; it then suggests solitariness or desolation: alone in the house; all alone on an island. Lone is somewhat poetic or is intended. Lonely implies a sad or disquieting feeling of isolation. Lonesome connotes emotion, a longing for companionship.

Lazy Days

It's been a surreal time in the last few days.  I've felt many different emotions and that's not uncommon for me.  I've seen the old year come and go, and the new year begin.  Things have happened both good and bad, during these times.  Losses have occurred, and gains have begun.  I see the future as fruitful as well as scary.  It's a time we all regroup and get ready for the coming details that always come into focus each year.  Each of us will try our best to maintain during the coming months as we always do.  So, I offer you my sincere hope for  your year ahead to be a great one.
Nita

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Merry Christmas to All

Merry Christmas to you and yours this season........remember the reason !

Again

My life has changes again and this time, I find it good as well as bad.  This is my dilemma caused by the need I had to be with someone who could possibly love me or be a good friend.  A few months ago, I wrote about meeting someone who had caused me to have great feelings about him.  Today, he lives with me and I'm mostly thankful for the companionship.  We have our little spats, ups and downs and yet we know that we have a bond which holds us together.  We actually love each other with the type of love not many people in the world ever get the chance to experience.  Real bonding love gives more value to the relationship. 

Now What?

What an emotional roller coaster, I've gotten myself into.  Today, is a sad day for me and I don't know how to handle the unknown.  Yesterday and evening, he kept calling saying he was coming out to spend the night.  Around 7:30pm he called to say that he would be another hour to hour and a half there at the shop, then he would be on his way.  I asked him if he still planned on coming out that late and he said yes.  So, I laid back down on the couch and watched TV.  Listening to every vehicle sound that neared my home for the possibility of it being him.  The 10pm local news came om and my excitement of seeing him was eating me alive, for I knw that any moment he would pull in my driveway.
At 10:30pm when the news was over, I went into the kitchen an put up the food I had cooked for him.  I then came back in to the living room and watched ET on TV.  By this time I was worried and wondering what or where he could be?  Still nothing.  So, I went sadly to bed, full of rejection, hurt and worry of the unknown.  
After what seemed a lifetime, I drifted off to sleep.  Around 1:40am, I woke to the noise of a passing loud car.  Realizing it was the middle of the night, and he still hadn't contacted me, I sent him a text on his cell phone.  NO answer.  Getting more hurt and pissed, I called his number, it went to voice mail.  Once again I called getting the same response.  So, I stopped and somehow went back to sleep.
This morning I sent him a text and then tried to call his phone again?  Still no answer!  This is killing me, not knowing what's going on.  I'm hurting like hell inside too............information of some sort would help.

Again

Well, it's Saturday night and here I sit at home alone, once again.  I got out of the house for awhile today, but since my eyes aren't doing too well with driving at night I made sure to get back home before dark.  It's an old person's thing..........and yes I'm getting older.  Pisses me off, but there's nothing I can do about it.  Being alone has come after many years of trying to have relationships and having them fall apart.  Today, it's better to be alone, than with someone who abuses me, emotionally, mentally and physically.  I can do without that and it's very hard to know who will be one way or the other.  It's sad that I've come to this, when all I ever wanted was a lasting love.  Guess the jokes on me?

Wanna Be

There's this guy who is 14 years older than me.  He would give his eye teeth to get between my legs.  Now, what I wonder is how a doctor can honestly give a prescription to a man his age for "viagra"?  I have this horrible picture of him checking out of this world in the midst of a private moment with me.  Can you imagine the things that some people who know us would say to that?  Oh man that would just make their day.  They wouldn't even consider the emotional trauma that I would experience if that did happen.  So, rather than have the opportunity to get in that dilemma I will politely decline his advances. 

America, Never Forget

Still

Here it is "Labor Day" and here I sit at the computer looking for something to do.  I once again am home alone, with only my thoughts and cat to entertain me.  She's in the front room sleeping after filling her stomach twice.  I've had my morning coffee, a few tidbits of food to sustain me and now am looking to wait out the rest of the day.  I put out some frozen meat to cook later this evening, and will marinate it in awhile, after it thaws.  The heat outside is starting to build, with the summer here in Texas once again giving us triple digit temperatures.  So, with the predictions being 101* degrees today, I will do my best to stay hydrated and cool.  That's my plans for the holiday, not much else to hope for being alone here in this house.  To all of you who have a life............please have fun and be safe while you enjoy today.

At Christmas

Looks as though I will be alone this year on Christmas Day..at least part of it anyway.........this is par for the course, since I have isolated myself from most people who are users.  Users tend to ask your for this and that without ever caring whether or not they are over extending you kindness or services.  I have five children who have lives of their own and are spending Christmas with their friends and families.  I just don't happen to be included in their festivities.  My Mom, is in the hospital and that has changed plans, with my sister to the point of not having anything, so to speak.  She's placing all her efforts around Mom, and my step dad since they are so old, it may be their last Christmas.  This I understand, but loosing the rest of the holiday just doesn't fit the scenario.  So, since I had planned to spend Christmas with her, I'm left to a limited amount of the day to enjoy.  I suppose, that this is what I should have expected, since I no longer have a spouse in my life and can't rely on others for my happiness.  I can't give the extra efforts, when I don't feel them, and I don't consider making myself go out of my way, something that makes me happy.  I can be alone and not have to put up with what others expect of me, even if it pisses them off at me.  They are doing what they want ........anyway.  Why shouldn't I?

Friends

Friends.......They love you,

But they're not your lover

They care for you,

But they're not from your family

They're ready to share your pain,

But they're not your blood relation.

They are........FRIENDS! !!!!

A True friend..... .

Scolds like a DAD..

Cares like a MOM..

Teases like a SISTER..

Irritates like a BROTHER..

And finally loves you more than a LOVER.

Friendships?

How can you call yourself a friend, when all you do is want to take advantage of me and our relationship?