Sunday, March 3, 2013

Now What?

What an emotional roller coaster, I've gotten myself into.  Today, is a sad day for me and I don't know how to handle the unknown.  Yesterday and evening, he kept calling saying he was coming out to spend the night.  Around 7:30pm he called to say that he would be another hour to hour and a half there at the shop, then he would be on his way.  I asked him if he still planned on coming out that late and he said yes.  So, I laid back down on the couch and watched TV.  Listening to every vehicle sound that neared my home for the possibility of it being him.  The 10pm local news came om and my excitement of seeing him was eating me alive, for I knw that any moment he would pull in my driveway.
At 10:30pm when the news was over, I went into the kitchen an put up the food I had cooked for him.  I then came back in to the living room and watched ET on TV.  By this time I was worried and wondering what or where he could be?  Still nothing.  So, I went sadly to bed, full of rejection, hurt and worry of the unknown.  
After what seemed a lifetime, I drifted off to sleep.  Around 1:40am, I woke to the noise of a passing loud car.  Realizing it was the middle of the night, and he still hadn't contacted me, I sent him a text on his cell phone.  NO answer.  Getting more hurt and pissed, I called his number, it went to voice mail.  Once again I called getting the same response.  So, I stopped and somehow went back to sleep.
This morning I sent him a text and then tried to call his phone again?  Still no answer!  This is killing me, not knowing what's going on.  I'm hurting like hell inside too............information of some sort would help.

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